Popular Themes

What are the most popular themes in dreams, and what do they mean?

Fiancé cheating and threatening me…

Dream: I have had two dreams of my fiancé having an affair and or leaving me. The first dream I dreamed that he was cheating on me and I tried to leave him and then he pulled his shotgun on me and said that he would kill me if I left him. The second dream I dreamed that he left me and said that I was too boring and took too many pictures. What do these mean?!!

DreamsMaster: Let’s take each of these dreams individually, then look at the possible connection between them…

In the first dream, your fiancé is cheating on you and threatens to kill you if you leave him. There are strong themes of Trust and Control here, or more precisely, the lack of both.

In the second dream, he said you were “boring and took too many pictures”. If this were my dream, that statement would represent an accusation that I tend to be an observer in life more than a participant. Since your fiancé is your own projection in this dream, I would consider this being a form of self-criticism. Do you have concerns about being too passive in your life or in this relationship?

Considering both of these dreams together, the key question I have for you is, do you trust this man that you intend to marry? The follow-on question is, do you trust that marrying this person is truly in your best interest, or are you feeling threatened by a sense of powerlessness and lack of control in the relationship?

Our dreams are our inner detective at work. If you’ve been sensing that this man has been emotionally distancing from you or has been acting in a controlling manner that from the outside appears caring but on the inside feels oppressive, these dreams may be sending you a warning that this relationship is not right for you.

On the other hand, if you cannot relate to the above and you sincerely do trust this man, then these dreams may represent some deep set insecurity that you don’t feel worthy of being in a relationship, thus setting up scenarios to try to sabotage it.

Chasing me…

Dream: I used to dream someone was chasing me to kill me. It was always a different scenario but same situation. I had a similar dream last night again. They never catch me. I always manage to get away.

DreamsMaster: Being chased in a dream immediately raises the metaphorical question, what are you running away from? The dream often involves a sense of vulnerability and lack of control, and implies there’s something in your waking world or psyche that you’re trying hard to deny or ignore but is chasing you down.

Here are some things to explore as you unravel the mystery behind this particular recurring dream of yours…

1) To start, write the theme of the dream and underline key symbols. There was not much detail in the dream you submitted, so in this case it can be as basic as: I am feeling threatened by someone, but I manage to escape.

2) Ask yourself some questions about the dream to try to recall more details, which may provide more symbols to work with. For example:

– Were you being chased by a man or a woman? When a person is undefined in a dream, s/he often represents a disowned part of oneself (our “shadow”). Describe this person in detail, perhaps even imagine interviewing him/her and asking questions such as, “Why are you pursuing me?”

– Did this person carry a weapon? If so, what was it? A gun? Knife? Do you have any personal associations to this particular type of weapon?

– Where were you when you were being chased? Was there anything familiar about the setting?

3) After you’ve probed your memory for more details of the dream, ask yourself these other questions as you try to associate the feelings and symbols from the dream to your waking life:

– What was on your mind when you went to bed last night?

– Recall the feelings you had in the dream. Did you have any similar feelings like that yesterday or last night?

4) If you don’t already have one, start keeping a journal where you can track these recurring dreams. Each time you have the dream, write it out in as much detail as possible, and be sure to note what was on your mind or what occurred the day/night before. A trend will appear, which will shed light on the message your inner self is trying to send you.

On a personal note, I used to have a similar recurring dream where I was being chased by unknown others threatening to kill me. One night while I was having this dream, in the midst of the chase the thought occurred: I’m going to die sooner or later. I’d prefer later than sooner, but if this is it, so be it. With that, I stopped running and calmly turned to face the pursuer, then gently awoke. Having faced my fear of death, I never had that dream again. And that calm acceptance of death stayed with me in the waking world, bringing a core sense of peace I had never before experienced.

Punished by his returning…

Dream: I often dream about my first husband who died a number of years ago. I really never loved this man and sometimes feel I am being punished by having him return in my dreams this way.

DreamsMaster: My sense is that these dreams of your first husband are more symbolic than visitations. Based on what little you’ve said, my guess is that you are indeed being punished… by yourself! And it’s long overdue that you stopped.

Here’s what I suggest you do. Pick an evening when you have some quiet time to yourself, and pull out a pen and paper – you’re going to write a letter to your first husband.

If you felt wronged by him in some way that you never had the chance to confront him about, use the following letter-writing format to express yourself:

1) What you did…
2) How it made me feel…
3) How it affected my life…
4) What I want from you now… (to stop visiting me in my dreams!)

If that doesn’t fit, and you’re blaming yourself for not loving him the way you judge that you should have, then try this angle instead:

1) What I did…
2) What I might have done differently, if I knew then what I know now…
3) How it affected my life…
4) What I want from myself now… (forgiveness!)

In either scenario (or one you create of your own that fits best), end the quiet time by closing your eyes and visualizing him in the dream. But this time, in your visualization, picture yourself ushering him out of the scene. Wave good-bye. Visualize this nightly until the scenario plays out in an actual dream. Once this occurs, it’s likely he will be gone from your dreams permanently… or at least until the guilt sneaks back into your subconscious. If/when that happens, just flush out the thoughts again and repeat the visualization.

Above all else, practice self-forgiveness, and treat yourself with the same respect and understanding as you would treat a friend.

Friend shoots me…

Dream: I serve in a pastoral position and in my dream I was helping people in a church setting. A friend shoots me twice, leaving me immobilized. I’m not worried about myself as I’m more concerned for the welfare of those entrusted to me. I’m shocked and in disbelief, more than hurt about what she has done to me. I can’t move and the same person comes and steps on my neck. I hear the cracking. I feel it carries a spiritual meaning.

DreamsMaster: I understand why this dream is so troubling to you. If you feel it carries a spiritual meaning, then begin by trusting this intuition. Here are some ideas for you to consider.

First, I have some clarifying questions:
– Is this friend in the dream a trusted friend in your waking world? Is she also a member of your church community?
– In the dream, where does she shoot you? In the back? The chest? The stomach?
– What is your friend’s emotional state in the dream? Cold? Angry? Hysterical?
– At the beginning of the dream you’re helping people in a church setting. What type of help are you administering to them?
– After you’re shot and immobilized, you’re more worried about them than yourself. How are they at risk?

Next, let’s look at possible dream themes. These are a couple that come to me:
– Someone you thought trustworthy betrayed you.
– While giving of yourself to others, you suffer gravely.

There are a number of symbols for you to consider as well. What they mean is for you to determine, but here’s what they would mean to me if it were my dream…

– Church = community
– Friend = could represent the actual person in my life, or it could represent a part of myself that I’ve identified with that friend.
– Shoots twice = determined to end life, to hit the mark.
– Immobilized = unable to protect or defend others or myself.
– Neck = lifeline between the head and the heart.

As you’re reading through all of this, are you getting a sense of the dream’s message? Only you can determine the dream’s true meaning (and it may have several layers of meaning), but from my perspective, I think it may be a warning that by giving so much to others, you may be putting your own health and well-being at risk. That said, I’d still keep a watchful eye on that friend, in case your intuition is sensing she doesn’t necessarily have your best interest at heart.

See more about Your Dreams…

Submit a dream of your own to the DreamsMaster…

Crash boyfriend’s truck…

Dream: I’m driving my boyfriend’s truck. The brakes go out. I was gonna crash. And before I crashed, I woke up.

DreamsMaster: Do you feel the relationship with your boyfriend is getting a bit “out of control”, like it’s going too fast and you can’t “put on the brakes” to slow it down? The dream could be enacting these metaphors.

That said, keep in mind that sometimes dreams are literal warnings. In this case, have you picked up on any clues that your boyfriend’s truck may be due for service, and perhaps requires new brakes?

Consider both angles, and then think about what you need to do to gain more control and feel less powerless in your current situation.