Tag Archive: grief

Dreamed that I married my ex…

Dream: I had a dream that I married my ex. What does this mean?

DreamsMaster: A dream about marrying your ex can have different meanings, depending in part on the circumstances surrounding the relationship and how it ended. Here are some ideas to consider.

If you are still in love with your ex or hoping to get back together, the dream could be playing out a sense of “wish fulfillment” that dreams often do. It doesn’t necessarily mean this is what you actually think you want in your waking world, but instead may be a quiet wish of the heart buried in your unconscious dreaming mind.

If you are still grieving the loss of the relationship, dreaming of getting married could be related to your innermost mind still working through the grief process, particularly the stage of grief commonly referred to as Denial – that sense that the end has not really occurred. Another stage of grief that may be in play is what’s known as the Bargaining stage – the “what if’s” and “if only’s” that can sometimes consume us. For example, in the case of dreaming about marrying one’s ex, the mind may be stuck on tapes like, “If only I hadn’t done ______, we might still be on a path to marriage.”

A key piece of information is missing from your dream submission, which is how you felt in the dream about marrying your ex. If the feeling was that of love and excitement, then dreaming about marrying your ex may fit with one of the interpretations above. However, it the feeling in the dream was unhappiness or even dread, then the dream may be reflecting a sense of powerlessness or lack of control when it comes to getting attached to unhealthy relationships.

If you do not still have an emotional attachment to your ex one way or another, to dream of getting married could symbolize that you identify very closely with certain personality traits in your ex, or perhaps with something to do with their lifestyle. Getting married in a dream often symbolically represents joining together with some unconscious aspect of oneself, or transitioning from one stage in life to another.

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Ex-husband’s girlfriend trying to kill me…

Dream: I dreamed of my ex-husband’s girlfriend trying to kill me.

DreamsMaster: If you’re still in contact with your ex-husband and his girlfriend, the dream could be your intuition picking up on signs that she sees you as a threat and in fact may be trying to drive a wedge between your ex and you.

If you’re not in touch with the two of them, then the dream can be seen more symbolically. For example, the motive you project onto your ex-husband’s girlfriend might actually be your own subconscious desire to “kill” or eliminate that old relationship from your life. You may also be projecting your own subconscious rage onto the dream image of the girlfriend, allowing you to protect your image as the passive victim rather than an unacceptable image as the hostile aggressor.

Here are some questions to ask yourself, that may help point you in the right direction as far as what message the dream is trying to send to you:

Do you feel threatened by the relationship between your ex and his girlfriend?
Are you harboring resentment toward either or both of them?
Do you need to bury the past in order to move forward in your life?

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Middle of the earth was falling in…

Dream: My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately. I had a dream that the middle of the earth was falling in and he was hanging on to my hand for dear life. I saved him and managed to pull him up and save him from being sucked in, and even though I saved him in the end he left me anyway. I saw my best friend standing there watching. She killed herself a year ago. Please help me interpret what’s going on.

DreamsMaster: My sense from the dream and what little you added about your waking life is that you may be harboring some guilt inside for not being or doing enough for the ones you love. In your effort to help (or save) your boyfriend or this relationship, you may have crossed a line into being the Rescuer, and when we cross that line, we can fall into the trap of the Rescuer > Persecutor > Victim cycle (google: Karpman Triangle), a psychological dance that can lead to resentment in relationships. This might be the source of the arguments you’ve been having with your boyfriend.

The “earth falling in” could be a metaphor for your sense that the relationship is losing ground. It could also be symbolic of your sense that your boyfriend is slipping away, not just from you but from life itself. In the dream, your trying to save him from being “sucked in” could mirror the waking world of your trying to save him from something you perceive is sucking the life out of him. This might be a real danger, perhaps an alcohol or drug addiction? If that doesn’t fit, think about what else you may perceive as a danger to him, which you may be trying in vain to rescue him from.

Your best friend who killed herself is watching. She might represent your fear that your boyfriend is killing himself (either literally or figuratively). She might also represent grief and loss. And abandonment. It’s a pretty intense thing to lose a best friend to suicide. This layer of the dream might be a message to you that try as you might, you cannot rescue others from themselves.

Think about where in your relationship you’ve been crossing the line between helping and rescuing, and take a step back. Ultimately, others must help themselves. Sometimes all we can do is love them through it. And sadly, sometimes a relationship does not withstand the fall.

Stay strong.

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It is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes comes to the top.
– Virginia Woolf

Dreamed that my ex is pregnant…

Dream: I had a dream that my ex is pregnant… For 8 hours I had the dream replay over and over… In the dream I was approached by my ex… who I still love. She told me she was pregnant and we held each other… knowing it wasn’t mine. This is my worst fear… we were a family and she left with our son 7 months ago.

DreamsMaster: I see a couple of ways you can go with this dream. Before I continue, though, keep in mind that you are the only one who can truly interpret your dream, so trust your instincts to decide what fits best for you.

In the dream, your ex is pregnant with new life that isn’t yours. When the two of you split, was she involved with another man, or did you suspect that she was? If so, her being pregnant with another man’s child in the dream could be driving home the fact that she no longer has an emotional attachment to you.

If she is not actually pregnant or in another relationship, then the dream could symbolize the fact that she has embarked on a new life (represented in the dream by the pregnancy) that does not include you (the child growing within is not yours).

In either case, the core dream message appears to be that it’s time for you to let go of your denial and move on with the grief process toward acceptance of the loss of the old relationship.

It’s very significant that in the dream you held each other despite the fact that the new life inside her wasn’t yours. If your worst fear is that you won’t continue to have contact with your son, another key message of the dream could be that the more you accept or “embrace” you ex’s new personal growth or direction in life, the greater the chance you’ll be able to maintain a relationship with your son.

That this was a recurring dream means there’s a very important message your innermost self is trying to send to you. If you still feel in the dark about the dream’s true meaning, when you go to bed tonight ask yourself for another dream to shed further light on the message.

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Giving a eulogy for my mother…

Dream: I dreamt I was giving a eulogy for my mother. I did the introduction of her brothers and could not continue. A friend held me and I woke up actually crying.

DreamsMaster: Such heavy grief. As distressing as this dream is, it is actually very healing, as we must feel in order to heal.

If your mother is deceased or has been recently diagnosed with a terminal illness, the dream could be a literal channel for your grief and loss.

If your mother is alive and well, then the dream may symbolize the end or death of your old relationship with her. It’s also possible that your mother in your dream represents a part of you that identifies with her, perhaps a part that you’ve lost touch with and miss dearly.

A takeaway from the dream could be to go ahead and actually write that eulogy for your mother, if you haven’t already. Say everything that needs to be said – acknowledge all she’s accomplished in her life and what she’s meant to you. Allow your feelings to pour out unfiltered and without judgment.

This is a very important dream on many levels – honor it by taking action.

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