Tag Archive: control

Dreaming about sharks…

Dream: What is the meaning of dreaming about sharks.

DreamsMaster: A shark means different things to different people. So, start by thinking about how you personally would describe a shark, and then consider how this description and the theme of the dream apply to your daily life.

For example… if you dream of a shark and you think a shark is a cold-hearted, insensitive predator, then look to your waking world and ask yourself if anyone you know fits that description. In this case, a dream of a shark may be a warning to watch out for someone trying to take advantage of you.

On the other hand, to a person who works closely with sea animals and knows sharks are victims of overfishing and at risk of extinction, a dream about sharks could represent one’s feelings of being misunderstood – feeling perceived as the aggressor yet is actually the victim.

The shark in your particular dream may represent a person in your life who fits your personal description, or if there are multiple sharks, perhaps a group or community in which you’re involved. The shark may also represent an aspect of your own personality that you’re coming to terms with.

To more fully understand the meaning of the dream, the next questions to ask yourself include:

What were the sharks doing in the dream? Were they just swimming around aimlessly, were they attacking a victim, or were they being attacked themselves?
What feelings did you have in the dream? Were you scared? Involved? Angry?
What was on your mind the night you had the dream?

Oh, and one more note… if you’re into hockey, to dream of a shark may have an entirely different meaning if you follow the San Jose Sharks!

Puppy went missing…

Dream: I have a 5 month old puppy. In my dream my puppy went missing. Every time I thought I saw him it wasn’t him. It was like I was finding all his brothers and sisters or ones that resembled him, but it was never him.

DreamsMaster: Before you fell asleep, do you recall having anything on your mind related to your puppy? For example, had you made a mental note of a risky area in your home or on your property that you thought you should attend to, such as a broken cabinet door or a hole underneath the fence? We often store things “in the back of our mind” that we intend to get to later but then forget about them, and these are the very things that appear in our dreams as reminders or warnings. So for starters, heed the possible literal warning in this dream and take a look around your place to be sure your puppy is safe in his surroundings.

After you’ve considered the literal meaning of the dream, next take a look at the symbolic meaning. A puppy is like a child, dependent and vulnerable. Since the puppy in your dream is your actual puppy in waking life, to dream that he’s gone missing could represent a part of yourself questioning or fearing your ability to live up to the responsibility this new parenting role demands.

In general, a puppy in a dream may represent a new relationship, one that has the potential to grow into a strong bond (dogs are known for their loyalty and being a best friend). To have a puppy or dog go missing could represent someone or something close to your heart that you are anxious about losing. It might even represent a fear of losing or “missing” the trusting, loyal, spontaneous part of yourself.

Interesting that in the dream you saw lots of other puppies that resembled yours, but you knew it was never him. The attachment you have to your puppy – your new relationship – this part of yourself – is genuine and unique. There is no replacement, and your loyalty to this being is as strong as a dog’s loyalty would be to you.

In summary, if this were my dream, the underlying message may be to stay alert to my needs and those I care about, and to not take them for granted. If left unattended, they may inadvertently stray.

Submit a dream of your own to the DreamsMaster…

Pushed into the fire…

Dream: My 12 year old daughter has been having the same recurring nightmare for the past week and I am having trouble coming to terms with it and why she is having them or what it actually is trying to tell us. Her dream consists of a fire and she is in the fire and sees everything but she sees herself as being dead. Then she sees a black figure who is pushing her into the fire. She feels like the black figure is controlling her and making her do what it wants. I hope you can help us interpret this.

DreamsMaster: Fire is often a symbol of transformation or destruction. Seeing herself as being dead may represent a part of her that has died. A thought that comes to mind is that your daughter is at that age where her child self is dying off as she crosses the threshold to womanhood. Has she begun menstruating yet? It’s not uncommon for a girl to feel “pushed into” womanhood with the onset of a changing body and the accompanying unfamiliar feelings, both physical and emotional. Adolescence is a time in the lives of both boys and girls when there’s the sense of feeling out of control in both mind and body.

Work with your daughter to try to pinpoint what was going on for her at the time she began having the dream. Does she identify with the sense that her body is changing? If so, how does she feel about these changes?

If this physical angle doesn’t fit, is she having a difficult time at school in one of her classes, or perhaps being exposed to some bullying? A dark figure could represent the perceived bully, and the fire could symbolize her rage.

An effective way to deal with a recurring nightmare is to consciously go back into the dream and change the ending. This particular dream ends with “a black figure pushing her into the fire.” When I project myself into the dream, I feel powerless and fearful of the unknown, so I need to think about what action I can take to regain my power and sense of control.

If your daughter is game, sit down with her with paper and something to draw with (e.g., crayons, colored pencils, markers), and tell her to draw a picture of the black figure. Encourage her to draw it with as much detail as possible. Then, tell her to add to the picture whatever it needs in order for her to feel in control of the scene. For example, she could draw a heavy-duty steel cage around the dark figure, or an image of herself that’s 10 times larger than it, whatever fits for her. Then, when she feels like she’s put everything into the picture that she can think of and starts feeling less scared of the image, you can cap it off by having her manually shred the piece of paper — tear it into as many pieces as possible — and invite her to vocalize anything that comes to mind while she’s shredding. At this point it might turn into sort of a game, where you both can shout whatever you want at the figure to prove who’s in charge now!

The primary goal is to help her gain a feeling of power and control by defusing the imaginary threat. Once she feels empowered, then you can start talking with her about what threats exist for her in the waking world (i.e., the symbolism of the “dark figure”). Once the two of you have unlocked the mystery, the dream will no longer reoccur as a nightmare.

P.S. Your daughter is fortunate to have a mother who takes her dreams and nightmares seriously.

Fiancé cheating and threatening me…

Dream: I have had two dreams of my fiancé having an affair and or leaving me. The first dream I dreamed that he was cheating on me and I tried to leave him and then he pulled his shotgun on me and said that he would kill me if I left him. The second dream I dreamed that he left me and said that I was too boring and took too many pictures. What do these mean?!!

DreamsMaster: Let’s take each of these dreams individually, then look at the possible connection between them…

In the first dream, your fiancé is cheating on you and threatens to kill you if you leave him. There are strong themes of Trust and Control here, or more precisely, the lack of both.

In the second dream, he said you were “boring and took too many pictures”. If this were my dream, that statement would represent an accusation that I tend to be an observer in life more than a participant. Since your fiancé is your own projection in this dream, I would consider this being a form of self-criticism. Do you have concerns about being too passive in your life or in this relationship?

Considering both of these dreams together, the key question I have for you is, do you trust this man that you intend to marry? The follow-on question is, do you trust that marrying this person is truly in your best interest, or are you feeling threatened by a sense of powerlessness and lack of control in the relationship?

Our dreams are our inner detective at work. If you’ve been sensing that this man has been emotionally distancing from you or has been acting in a controlling manner that from the outside appears caring but on the inside feels oppressive, these dreams may be sending you a warning that this relationship is not right for you.

On the other hand, if you cannot relate to the above and you sincerely do trust this man, then these dreams may represent some deep set insecurity that you don’t feel worthy of being in a relationship, thus setting up scenarios to try to sabotage it.

Chasing me…

Dream: I used to dream someone was chasing me to kill me. It was always a different scenario but same situation. I had a similar dream last night again. They never catch me. I always manage to get away.

DreamsMaster: Being chased in a dream immediately raises the metaphorical question, what are you running away from? The dream often involves a sense of vulnerability and lack of control, and implies there’s something in your waking world or psyche that you’re trying hard to deny or ignore but is chasing you down.

Here are some things to explore as you unravel the mystery behind this particular recurring dream of yours…

1) To start, write the theme of the dream and underline key symbols. There was not much detail in the dream you submitted, so in this case it can be as basic as: I am feeling threatened by someone, but I manage to escape.

2) Ask yourself some questions about the dream to try to recall more details, which may provide more symbols to work with. For example:

– Were you being chased by a man or a woman? When a person is undefined in a dream, s/he often represents a disowned part of oneself (our “shadow”). Describe this person in detail, perhaps even imagine interviewing him/her and asking questions such as, “Why are you pursuing me?”

– Did this person carry a weapon? If so, what was it? A gun? Knife? Do you have any personal associations to this particular type of weapon?

– Where were you when you were being chased? Was there anything familiar about the setting?

3) After you’ve probed your memory for more details of the dream, ask yourself these other questions as you try to associate the feelings and symbols from the dream to your waking life:

– What was on your mind when you went to bed last night?

– Recall the feelings you had in the dream. Did you have any similar feelings like that yesterday or last night?

4) If you don’t already have one, start keeping a journal where you can track these recurring dreams. Each time you have the dream, write it out in as much detail as possible, and be sure to note what was on your mind or what occurred the day/night before. A trend will appear, which will shed light on the message your inner self is trying to send you.

On a personal note, I used to have a similar recurring dream where I was being chased by unknown others threatening to kill me. One night while I was having this dream, in the midst of the chase the thought occurred: I’m going to die sooner or later. I’d prefer later than sooner, but if this is it, so be it. With that, I stopped running and calmly turned to face the pursuer, then gently awoke. Having faced my fear of death, I never had that dream again. And that calm acceptance of death stayed with me in the waking world, bringing a core sense of peace I had never before experienced.